Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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