dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
