Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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