So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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