17 year olds will be the death of me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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