No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
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It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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