you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
