the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
