Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
