return my video game
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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