Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Someone came in the potted fern
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
