I want to make a zoo with you.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
