drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
