Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
