This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
