Having a random hookup so left but love u
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
