I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
