two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
