Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
