My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
