I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
