I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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