went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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