Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
