All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
