i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
