i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
