I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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