My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
