Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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