He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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