There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
