uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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