and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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