so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
