I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
