please come you make the beer taste better
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
