the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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