Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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