NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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