I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
