mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
