Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
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I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
His nipple licking is glorious
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