dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
