Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
