A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
