The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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