Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
