I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
