Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
