threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
