that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
