Little spoons don't ask big questions
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
