69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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