So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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