If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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