After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
