she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
