Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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