she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
