Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize