you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
