Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
