I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
