Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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