that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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