She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
