Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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