Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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