its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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