There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
