How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
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I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize