one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize