I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
